This past weekend, i had the opportunity to attend the Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend (aka CLAW) due to the generosity of my Master's partner, boy Iain. At a large gathering like this and in particular a gathering of my own extended leather family - I had the opportunity to look around at the people who surround me - and see those whom i call family and am proud to be seen by them as family. I specifically got to spend time with the wonderful Master's and Sir's, boys, and slaves that are a part of the the leather family of which i am a part. This past weekend reminded me, like every time i walk among those i call family, not only why i am so happy to serve my Master, but also why i try my best in offering my services to the family as set forth by my Master.
Over the course of this past weekend, I was privileged to receive compliments from several members of my family and some people from outside of my family based on the way that I have grown and how I carry myself in and around the family. I don't offer what i do because i'm special or because i'm looking for a reward, or because i'm doing it for selfish reasons (although I'm not entirely sure that making the members of said family happy is an entirely altruistic act though). I don't do it for praise or recognition, I offer and give what i do freely, because i can not change that part of who i am, nor would i if i could for it is me being me.
This past weekend at CLAW was one of those events that was a growing opportunity for me. Not only did I get to sit and watch/participate in a couple of great Puppy-play seminar's, but also I learned a few things (though nothing that caught me completely by surprise). These seminars were put on by Sir Marc, his partner Master Noel, pup Ace and boy Neal. In my eyes these seminars were very well done and great to watch, and they gave us, the puppies, puppy treats. wags
Yet this past weekend also chilled me to the bone and made my tail stop wagging. it made me look at the leather family of which I am a part, and be more grateful for my place in it. I didn't like what i saw and it seemed to fly in the face of everything i was taught to believe in, of everything that i know to be truthful and altruistic and in its place saw what in my head seems to be "abuse and doormats".
I people watch, i'm great at reading body language, energy and facial expressions. What i noticed at CLAW, was that a lot of the boy's seemed to have personalities and of course were allowed to speak, ask questions, put their answers forward. Their energy was alive and humming. Yet the slaves, those that probably have the greatest wisdom and opinions to give when talking about M/s relationships from the slave perspective, yet remained silent. I noticed over the course of the weekend that their energy seemed muted some how and despite the smiles on their face, they didn't seem to be all that happy. Their energy and their personalities seemed identical to one another for the most part and that was frankly creepy.
In the M/s seminars, the Masters talked away about how they see things, yet the slaves remained silent, as if putting their thoughts forward, were some how less valuable because they were slaves, or as if their thoughts were unimportant to the discussion. When in fact in order to have a well balanced and thought out discussion both sides need to talk.
There came a part of the weekend during a seminar when the head of my leather family's Alpha-slave spoke up and spoke from his experience. The shocked look on the Master/Sir's faces and in their body language was priceless - they were quite frankly shocked. To me it seemed that they had never heard a slave actually speak up in a class before without their Master's prompting, never mind interrupting a conversation between Masters and Sir's. In my leather family, the opinion and thoughts of the submissive members of our family are valued and listened to, and are taken into account by their dominants. They may not change the decision being made, but they are heard. After the seminar, a new member of the community, thanked our family's Alpha-slave for speaking up and showing that subs can and do have a voice that needs to be heard.
It was amazing to see the reaction of the Masters/Sirs, and it was amusing to see the rebuttle to his comment, as the 'Sir' to whom he replied to had nothing but excuses and insults to give back to a very well done and thought out opinion of the opposite nature. The man basically said that he was arguing semantics and had at one point called my Grand-Master and my own Master immoral and unable to keep their word.
My observations during this weekend seemed to suggest that many of the slaves I observed seem to have the exact same way of acting. Part of me wonders if this is an american cultural thing? Perhaps an American leather culture thing? Part of me also wonders if this is due to some protocol or training program that is very pervasive amongst those people i had a chance to observe. I wonder if a new submissive entering the community might observe what I did, and think "I don't want to be come a slave, because it seems like the are all the same".
Another such part of me wonders is if some of the training programs that offer to train a slave or Master in the States, may end up doing more bad then good, basically pumping out the same slave over and over again, eroding each wonderful personality they once had and which they could be bringing into the service of their Master.
I have heard that there are indeed good ones, but part of me wonders that for every good one if there isn't ten or so bad ones cropping up. Which instead of looking to educate the community, are just looking to simply earn money.
pupKalen
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